Long days

So many choices! On any given day we make dozens, and sometimes hundreds, of large and small choices and decisions. What to have for lunch? Left turn or right turn on the way to a new destination in the car? Head to the gym, or not? Procrastinate, or get busy with that important work project?

Some choices and decisions are carefully thought out. For instance, 'how to proceed with a work project'. Others are driven by mood and attitude. You know those feelings, 'I don't feel like working on my novel because I don't feel inspired'. Or, 'I feel like giving it a go today. I am sitting down at my computer right now, and I'll do the best I can. I'm going to write three pages'. Or, 'I feel too tired to work out, I think I'll just plop down on the couch and watch some television instead'. Personally, I try to avoid that choice since I always feel better and more energetic if I overcome my fatigue and do a 20-30-minute work out. Sometimes the best course is to push past the initial 'easy' choice. When you do that you reap greater reward and fulfillment.

So many choices are made unconsciously, automatically. I think of these unconscious choices as 'sleep-walking' through the day. Consider all the choices you make with little or no thought. For instance at lunchtime do you buy a cheeseburger because that's what you always order, instead of reviewing your options and trying something new? Tomorrow try this experiment: As you make the journey through your day, really 'think about the choices and decisions you are making'. Consider the type and variety of choices that you make. How many do you actually 'think about'? How many are intuitive choices, or habitual choices, or instinctive choices? What would happen if you gave more thought to those choices?

Few things in life are free. You typically get what you pay for. I find that the quality of my life improves when I 'act' and give conscious thought to my choices and decisions. I feel more in control of my life, more optimistic, and I tend to make 'better' choices and decisions. Of course, it's not possible to spend hours and hours scrutinizing every aspect of every choice that you make - there simply are not enough hours in the day. 'Over thinking' is probably less productive than giving 'no thought' to choices and decisions. The act of choosing then adds more stress and 'worrying' to your day.

Yes, like most things there is a fine line, and balance involved, but it's certainly worth a try if it could improve the quality of your life. Tomorrow, give your choices and decisions some forethought and care. Consider 'how and why' you make choices, and how you could benefit if you actively participate in the choosing, rather than passively letting things happen. Why not start your day by choosing to have a 'great day' and by being positive and optimistic? I hope you also choose to devote some time to 'you' and your dreams, resolutions and goals.

Remember: I Resolve To Achieve My New Year Resolutions, One Resolution, One Day At A Time For One Year. It's your choice. Do it today. Turn your resolution into reality. Make your resolution a permanent Lifetime Resolution, something that's with you for good! Above all, Be A Resolutionista, someone who keeps resolutions and enjoys the journey! Let's Go For It!!

In order to gain success in 30 Days you will find that the
seven points listed here will keep you focused and on target
so whatever you want to achieve you can do it.

1. Decide what you want

Before you can get anywhere you have to know at least two
things. They are where are you right now and where do you
want to go? This is true if you're traveling by car or bus
somewhere and it is also true if you want to make an inner
journey to success.

2. How badly do you want it?

Once you've decided where you want to get to, you really
need to know in your self, how much, how deeply, how
passionately do you want that? Life without passion and
purpose will be forever mediocre so be sure your goal is one
that you have passion for; one you really want and need to
achieve.

3. The right method

We're starting to get some where. But You need the correct
method to get there. As with most things there's the wrong
way to do it and there's the right way to do it. Also there
is usually the slow way and the fast way. What we want is
the right way and the fast way.

4. Rest and check

As with a journey rest breaks are scheduled in. In the same
way when you want to initiate personal change you need to
rest from time to time and also check to make sure that
you're still on track. It's very easy to get distracted,
especially if you are doing something new.

5. Determination

Few people, unless very lucky, have attained anything
without having determination. Determination is the
ingredient that provides the fuel to keep change happening;
it keeps you going even though you may feel like stopping.

6. Trust the outcome

Sometimes doubt in the self can come, especially when you
are starting something you have never attempted before. That
is why it's a great quality to trust that you will succeed.
Don't allow doubt to settle in your mind as when it does it
will poison all your great intentions. Think: 'I will
succeed', 'I will succeed'.

7. A reasonable plan

Planning makes life incredibly free and liberating. The
reason is simply because when you have a plan of action you
don't need to think about what you are supposed to do and
when. You know exactly what you're to do. This saves
enormous amounts of time and useless thinking.

Although the tips shared here are actually very simple; you
probably already know them. However, they are the tried and
tested tips for bringing about change. In the immortal words
of the Jedi Knight from Star Wars: 'Do or do not, never try'

Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that. Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there are no criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea.

To begin, measurable goals do not have to be life-changing ones. In other words, look for some early, quick wins to gain momentum and confidence that will prepare you for attaining larger goals. For example, if you are overweight and want to loose a significant amount of weight, set a goal to begin walking 30 minutes every day instead of committing to loosing 50 pounds in two months. Most people can accomplish walking 30 minutes a day. This goal can be accomplished the very first day, and the second day, and the third day, and so on. The feeling of success and happiness for meeting these smaller, but very measurable goals will lead to achieving the ultimate goal. Start with baby steps, first.

Here's a blueprint to help you set a plan and stay on track with your goal setting:

STEP 1. Develop a DESIRE to achieve the goal. The desire must be intense. How do you intensify desire? Sit down and write out all the benefits and advantages of achieving your goal. Once the list goes between 50 and 100 your goal becomes unstoppable.

STEP 2. WRITE your goal down. Once it goes into writing it becomes substantial and starts etching itself into your subconscious.

STEP 3. IDENTIFY 1) the obstacles you will need to overcome, 2) the help you will need to acquire, e.g. knowledge, people, organizations. In each case write them out in a clear list and analyze them.

STEP 4. DEADLINE your goal. Analyze where you are now in relation to the goal and then measure how long you will reasonably need to complete the goal. Then set the latest outside date.

STEP 5. Take all the details of steps 3 and 4 and make a PLAN. List all the activities and prioritize them. Rewrite the list, optimize it, perfect it.

STEP 6. Get a clear MENTAL PICTURE of the goal already accomplished. Make the mental image crystal clear, vivid in the mind's eye. Play that picture over and over in your mind.

STEP 7. Back your plan with PERSISTENCE and resolve. Never, never, never give up even when you hit setbacks.

I would love to hear about your goals and I'm here to support and encourage you in any way possible. Please share your goals with me, and in turn, I will share my personal goals with you. Once goals are shared between two people, each becomes the accountability partner for the other. When goals are written and shared, the likelihood of the accomplishment the goal becomes much, much greater.

One of the most valuable elements of creativity and creating things is the way it allows us to connect more deeply.

When we get a direct hot wired short cut straight to the source of our creativity it can make us feel excited, energised, more alive, more motivated and more happy.

There are two different ways we can use our creativity to connect more deeply:

1. Using your creativity to connect with yourself.

When you create from the deepest point inside yourself, that true source of creativity, it's rewarding in a way that nothing else can be.

You feel more alive and more connected and that you're closer to feeling and knowing what life itself is all about.

We all have our own unique set of creative skills and talents, and we each have our own creative voice. The more we create, the more we experiment and explore our creativity, the closer we get to that deep pure source, and to our unique creative voice.

Maybe for a poet it takes a hundred poems to even begin to get close to finding their unique ways of expressing themselves.

If you were that poet and you write one poem a month, obviously it's going to take nearly a decade to get this point. If you write a poem a day, of course you'll get there quicker. Then you can write each poem beyond that more easily and in a way more authentically as that pure expression of YOU.

2. Using your creativity to connect with other people.

There are many ways we can use our unique creative talents to connect with others. The two most obvious distinctions are connecting directly or indirectly.

If you're a singer for example, you might record an album and it sell a few thousand copies. You know that in some way you've connected with a few thousand people through your art. You know too that what you've put out in the world is in someway adding to people's lives, making them a little better.

And, as a singer, you probably do live gigs. During these you can enjoy the direct connection and feedback from your audience in a way that's not possible through selling records.

Another way creativity connects people is through shared creative passions. You could join a group, club or online forum about a creative passion of yours, and share your experiences with others who enjoy similar things.

Though you may not be directly sharing YOUR art, this is still a wonderful and valuable way of having meaningful connections with other people through creativity.

This is just a starting point to illustrate the to main ways you can connect more deeply – to yourself and to others – thought your creativity.

Doesn't that inspire you to want to create more, starting today?

A well known New Zealand athlete, when recently asked what he is next in training for, answered 'The Human Race'. He has a good sense of humour, but also a deeper wisdom which comes from an abundance of self-transcending life experiences.

We know that it is important to set goals in our lives, but whether we succeed or fail at reaching these goals at the appointed hour is not important, keeping them and adjusting them if needed is.

Training is what we do when we are learning or seeking to improve our capacity in some way. We train children to ride a bike or learn to read, we get training when we get a new job, and anyone who takes part in sporting races has to train.

Usually training is focused on an immediate goal, whether it be completing a race or learning how to use a new computer programme, but just being in training has a motivating and energizing effect on us. The short term goal is in mind, but a lot more is really happening. Our life is made up of small segments of time, and when we become aware of the value of utilizing every moment we start to see how much we can truly accomplish.

There is a Buddhist saying "The journey is the destination". Say we train to run a marathon in under four hours. We get so much out of the training that, come race day, it doesn't really matter if we achieve our goal or not. If we do, that's wonderful, if we don't, we can take the experience as a step in training for the next race.

"Our goal is not fixed;


It is always transcending itself.


When we are about to reach


Our long-awaited goal,


We immediately see a new goal


To reach this new goal


Is not a one-inch journey.


It is also a very long distance away"





Sri Chinmoy

Setting goals helps us to keep a clear focus and not get distracted by comparing ourselves with other people. Try it and see for yourself! If we do not stay focused on our goals we easily start to judge our achievements against other peoples, and as soon as we do that our focus is lost and so is our sense of fulfilment and peace of mind. So if you haven't already, try setting yourself some goals, and get in training, for life.

I was always petrified of my father because when he had been drinking he could fly into a rage for no reason what so ever, he was violent and abusive.

He sexually abused me from the age of thirteen to twenty four. I can hear people gasp! Surely at the age of twenty four I should have been able to stand up and say no! But unless you have been so scared of a person you will never understand the hold they have over you. you feel so powerless, which is exactly how they want you to feel.

I had tried to leave home on several occasions only be dragged back with the threat of never seeing my sisters again so as much as I hated myself for giving in I could never cut the ties with my beloved sisters. Head between my legs and confidence as low as it can get I returned, sometimes to face the anger of both my parents. My mother because she was jealous of me and my father because how dare I even consider going against him.

Life was a vicious circle in those days hating myself for staying but too scared to actually leave my sisters alone with parents who seemed unable to care for them.

Being the eldest I did my best to protect them from some of the horror I went through although I couldn’t always stop their hidings I could stop the sexual abuse.

Yes I know you would think my mother would have stopped that but she chose to allow it to go on because it was easier for her in some ways. I know she was jealous of the fact my father did what he did to me and I am sure at times hated me but what she didn’t want to do was take us a walk away. I asked her once why she couldn’t protect us and leave him, she said that with four children it wasn’t easy.

So was it easier to let one of your daughters be abused, and all to be beaten? It was my father who beat and abused me but I sometimes hated my mother more because I always felt it was up to her to stand by us and protect us.

When ever I challenged he on this point she would start to cry which always got me and made me feel sorry for her.

I never forget the time she did leave him and I will never forgive her because she didn’t take us with her. She left for six weeks and during that time my life was even more of a living hell that it had been before.

It started one night when I had been out with my boyfriend, a rare stage in my life because I wasn’t normally allowed to have boyfriends. My father had followed us, again, and made us feel like we were doing something wrong, all we were doing was sitting in his car talking. My dad accused us of all sorts and I was so afraid to go home as I knew I would be in for another beating. As we approached our home my dad was sitting in his car waiting for me, he dragged me inside and told my boyfriend to go. We had a massive argument and he slapped me across the face so hard I thought my teeth would fall out.

I rushed in doors and told mum what had happened, I hated him so much. Mum and dad had a massive row and she walked out, I had no idea where she had gone. I was left to take over her role in every sense of the word, I cleaned house, I cooked, I looked after my sisters and brother.

I felt so abandoned by my mother and so alone, powerless and suicidal. When she finally came back I hated more than ever.

Any way when I was twenty four I met a man and fell totally in love with him and a year later we got married, in private as I knew my dad would never allow it to take place.

To cut a long story short I never told my husband the whole truth about my awful past because I felt dirty, ashamed and guilty.

When we had been married for eighteen years I started my counseling training and plucked up the courage to tell my husband what had happened to me the whole sorry truth.

At this point I was also strong enough to tell my mum I no longer wanted them in my life.

It was the most scary thing I have ever done but also the best, I was finally free of the chains that had held me so tight for so many years, I could breath again and be myself.